The Identity

by Rhonda, February 09, 2024

When we are born into this world, we are a unique creation, masterminded by God himself.  We are created with our own set of DNA.  Our eye color, skin color, and body type are individual to each of us.  Our personalities are unique.  We have likes and dislikes, preferences and pain points.  God's fingerprints are all over every one of us, creating us to be completely individual from any other.

Yet, if you've gone through any sort of trauma recently, you may find yourself wondering, Who am I, really?  Where is my place in this world?  I think it is particularly normal to try to redefine yourself after you've gone through a divorce.  Everything familiar is changing.  So many of us have a significant amount of our identity wrapped up in our marriage.  When all of a sudden, it doesn't exist anymore, you feel like you don't exist anymore.  There's a lot of self help books written specifically around this, advertising the secret to finding yourself and being comfortable in your own skin.  

Thank goodness it is not up to us to define who we are. We are simply who God says we are.  No past defines us.  No opinion molds us.  The only One who can tell us about ourselves is God Himself.  If you don't believe me, have a look at scriptures:

1 Peter 2:9  But you are a chosen generation, a royal priesthood, a holy nation, His own special people, that you may proclaim the praises of Him who called you out of darkness into His marvelous light.

Colossians 3:12  Therefore, as the elect of God, holy and beloved, put on tender mercies, kindness, humility, meekness, longsuffering.

Ephesians 2:10  For we are His workmanship, created in Christ Jesus for good works, which God prepared beforehand that we should walk in them.

1 John 3:1  Behold what manner of love the Father has bestowed on us, that we should be called children of God! Therefore the world does not know us, because it did not know Him.

These are just a few scriptures, and if you want to read more about yourself, the Bible is full of verses such as these.  According to these verses, you're a chosen generation, a royal priesthood, the elect of God, holy and beloved, His workmanship, and His child.  I don't know about you, but that's a far greater identity than I could have ever designed for myself.  God's mercies are great, aren't they?  Can you believe this is how he sees us?  

He sees little old divorced me as holy and beloved.

I used to ask Him God why would you be so kind to me? But, as I've gotten to know Him more and more through this traumatic process of divorce, I've learned it isn't about me.  He is simply that amazing.  His love is that incredible.

He doesn't want you to be more like Mary down the street, who has been married for thirty years, has grandkids, and the perfect Christmas decorations every year.  He doesn't want you to be more like anyone else, because He created you to be you.  The way you laugh?  He created that.  The way you burn dinner (speaking for myself here)?  He didn't design you to be a master chef.  The nights you're tired and end up in bed with a bag of Cheetos (random example, completely)?  He gets it.

He is delighted by you.  Yes, you.

So, even after feeling like you've lost so much in the divorce, just remember that God's definition of you depends on Him.  Not on you, your decisions, your past, or even your future.  Your identity is in Him, and there's nothing to redefine.  Your life may be different and your decisions may be different.  But, nothing can change the truth.  You've been created by the One who loves you more than you can imagine.

That's your identity.

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